SOC Blog

I didn't have a tree, and nobody hung a stocking for me, but I got a terrific Christmas gift this year, even if it didn't arrive until Sunday the 28th.

Forty-four to six.

What's the word for worse than humiliated? Debased? Degraded? Turned into a prison girlfriend? Collapsed in the shower? Whatever you like, that's what happened to the Cowboys on Sunday. And for me, the key word is liked. I liked it a lot. Even Dallas Morning News writer, Jean-Jacques Taylor, called them gutless. A sportswriter named Jean-Jacques. How Dallas is that?

Why do I enjoy seeing the Cowboys and their fans wallow in shame and misery? I'm a Houstonian, and they're from Dallas. Or at least a boutique suburb of Dallas. On top of that I'm sick and tired of a large number of my allegedly fellow Houstonians prattling on about how "You got to love ‘em. They have five rings."

Wrong. I'm not a front runner who needs the shallow validation of my team being a winner. Oh, I'm all for winning. I'm not defending those namby-pamby, non-competitive Little League morons. But the bottom line is that your team is your team because they're your team, not because they win a lot. I grew up loving the Oilers, Saints, Astros and Red Sox. To say the very least, they didn't always win a lot. But yet, the three that still exist are still my teams. And I am now learning to love the Texans. Though it would help if they occasionally bought me dinner and hired someone to cut my yard.

Dude, the Niners are doing retro uniform day up right. And let me say that I already loved retro uni day in the first place. Not just in football either. Baseball pulls out some classics from the 1930s where you can see the sanitary socks like you're supposed to, and basketball pulls out those shorts from the 1960s where you can see a whole world of things you were never supposed to.

My personal favorites include those old Packers and Steelers outfits from the 1920s. You learn all you need to know by the colors. They don't need no stinkin' writing. In baseball, I might be biased, but I do love those Astros rainbows, especially the second version where it was just on the sleeve. Face it, everyday was hideous, but when you know they'll switch back by the next night, they're pretty cool.

While the Braves had one awful look in the 1980s, the worst sports uniform of all time has got to be when the Chicago White Sox wore short pants. Given their ownership's history of tightness, you can only figure the Bulls had a garage sale down the block. Wilbur Wood in shorts. That's an image I still can't shake.

But back to the Niners. Their players decided if they were wearing late 1970s gear, why not grow late 70s moustaches! It's brilliant. If you're gonna play dress up, why not go the whole way? I assume that means Mike Singletary's post game rant will include bad-mouthing Roger Craig for no apparent reason. Maybe they can load up on steroids, too, just like in the good old days.

Other teams should try this. Maybe the Lions can go retro and like … win.

A move is afoot to call for a halt or the demise of NASCAR. It has to do with the economic bailout of the auto industry. If the big shots at Chrysler, GMC and Ford can't get it together why would they spend money on racing? That would take Dodge, Chevrolet and Ford out of the NASCAR family. Toyota would win the manufacturing cup by default. Of course, the move to kill auto racing isn't sweeping the country. If it does gain support, look for the following due to the economic turndown:  Houses will stop being built, sold or lived in; ATM's will be taken out of your daily life along with your credit cards, mutual funds and any public stock traded on any exchange; We would continue to support the NHRA ‘cause they only go a quarter of a mile – sort of like your dollar.

The Texans were given up for dead four weeks ago. In terms of a playoff, they are still dead. Is this the streakiest team in all of the NFL? Yes, it is. The guys started the season with four straight losses. They lost the October 5 game to Indy with the now legendary 4-minute collapse. They snapped out of their post-hurricane funk with three straight wins to get to 3-4.

The third streak of the season then followed with a four game losing streak. Now the team is at .500 after having won their last four in a row. For cryin' out loud, that could drive a fan nutty. Christmas comes in between a visit to Oakland and the closer here against Chicago. No more rollercoasters please.

The season should end with six straight wins and a happy group of fans. The fans won't be that happy as some will complain the last streak broke up another streak. Really good draft spots. You can't please everyone since at this writing the Texans could finish 9-7 with no playoff chance since being eliminated two weeks ago. Teams like Denver or San Diego could get in with just eight wins. On the other hand, the NFC might have a team or two with as many as 10 or 11 wins, and they won't get to the postseason. What does this all prove?  Win more games and you won't have to sweat it out.

According to the NFL Commish, the League is feeling the economic strain of the world's financial dilemma. The league will lay off 150 employees at the main headquarters, NFL Films and their Internet operation in Los Angeles. If everything goes to hell the NFL will only retain $2 Billion of its current bankroll.

Poor and displaced around the globe can feel the NFL's pain. Should the downturn continue, the guys in New York have outlined a serious fallback policy.  I, of course, got a copy of the plan and it only cost me the price of one Senate seat in Illinois.

NFL watchers will be forced to buy the NFL Network for all games. It doesn't matter that your city may not have access to the NFL NETWORK. Tough luck. The league will consider (but never follow through on) the possibility of discount tickets for families. The league will continue its policy of playing in Europe in order to pile up frequent flyer miles, thus cutting expenses for the annual trip to Hawaii and the pretend All-Pro game. The NFL will schedule Tuesday and Wednesday games during the regular season to lure sponsors away from "Dancing with the Stars." The single, biggest plan to save money will involve the uniforms. Names on the backs will be taken off to increase program sales. This procedure will also allow roster changes that cut out the middleman as the team tailor is one of those being laid off.

The topic on our talk radio show this week (790thesportsanimal.com) has been about which star athlete the city would miss most due to injury, T Mac or Matt Schaub. My vote and the votes of many others all went to Tracy. Our reasoning was simple. The Texans are toast, the Rockets are still in the oven. Matt is becoming best known for his limp instead of his arm. Tracy limps too, but Matt has more time in cast and that is what is driving the team and the fans nuts. I thought he was a great addition after the David Carr experiment ended. Wait a minute, that was too long to be an experiment. Matt vs. Sage was an early argument, but now instead of two quarterbacks it appears we have none. T Mac has the luxury of a long season. The Texans have already had a long season with six games to go.

The season is one game over half way, and the Texans are three games under mediocre. I had the team going 9-7 in my critical preseason analysis for 790thesportsanimal. OK, so I just took a guess. So did the Texans staff. I guessed outcomes, they guessed talent. As of this writing Sage Rosenfels is running out of thyme, not to mention rosemary. The idea this team could grab a playoff spot is out the window, and so basically, is the season. I know this is a shortened blog, I just can't scream over the Internet.

The sick bay reported No. 8 was unable to perform for at least the next two, three or four games. This news was not unfamiliar to Texans fans. Yes, once again Matt Schaub is on the sideline. Yes, once again Sage is on the stage. The two backup quarterbacks will attempt to put their heads, if not their knees, together to try to beat the Ravens at Reliant. You remember the Ravens. They are officially the first team ever rescheduled by the NFL when it comes to playing against Houston. The reschedule of quarterbacks is not a first. In fact, it is a third. As I pointed out some time ago, let's go Rockets.